No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
