maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
