apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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