ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
