When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
