In the future we'll all be gay
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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