I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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