Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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