she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize