Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
