So drunk its hurt
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
