Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
