8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
