You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
