Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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