he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
