i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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