i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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