Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
