You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
