What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
