she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
