this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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