god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
