then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize