when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
