Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
