he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
