her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
