Me. At least after what I've been through.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
