we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have aggressive nipples.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
