why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
