if i can run in heels then i can drive
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
