I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
