I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
