I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
