If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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