we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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