I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
