Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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