So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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