He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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