I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
