I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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