i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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