Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
