My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
