Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
