when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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