This girl is more easily done than said...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
