That's intense
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
