I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
