my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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