I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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