Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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