I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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