Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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