so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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