Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
