is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
