2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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