he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
