"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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